Things You Can No Eat
by corn-on-the-bob
Summary: Random adventure with quena! for no better reason than i wanted to write in Quenaspeak. be forewarned, the grammer is Horrendous, but it's supposed to be.
1. No Hungry & No Happy

DISVLAIMER! i don't own final fantasy 9, it's characters, the places mentioned in it, or any of that good stuff. i do own a copy of the game, and i'm nearly done it now, too. anyway, every gramatical error was planned to be part of this story. it's for effect. I mean, this _is _supposed to be Quena.

The sun was no up when Quena wake. S/he rub his/her eyes with lazy. The air no smell good outside tent. Sea smell too strong…. Much salty no taste good. S/he waddle out with many big stretch. Black mage Vivi there, sat by shore, and no look happy.

"Hungry?" Quena ask. "I go catch big fish? Tasty to eat."

"huh? Oh, Hello Quena. No, I'm not hungry."

Quena sit near Vivi, in close.

"no hungry _and_ no happy? Why so?" Vivi look out sea for much time before answer, golden sparkly in eyes. "you _sure_ you no hungry? Quena ask, just when Vivi start say "do you love anyone, Quena?" then Vivi blush, under cloak very deep, where Quena no see.

"Quena love FROGS! And Quena love all good foods." _'that good answer'_ s/he think. Vivi give deep sigh.

"not food Quena, a person. Or, a… (_whatever you are_)… Qu, I guess. Love is for someone you live for. Someone who makes you happy when you see them, just by being there. Even if….. you're… _hungry,_ I suppose." Quena Blink Twice. _'Vivi must hunger very much. he hunger-mad already!_'still, Quena try understand.

When that no work, Quena try explain.

"when Quena hungry, Quena Eat, Quena become happy. When Quena no happy, Quena see food, Quena _think of food,_ it make Quena happy. How you say Quena no love food?" Vivi still no think that good answer. He sigh deep again.

"no. it's different."

Quena no quite understand. Quena think hard, but no understand come.

"Vivi… Vivi _love_ someone?" s/he finally ask. Vivi look deep at Quena, then turn head fast away.

"no, Quena. That's why I'm not happy. I don't think I love anyone anymore. I can't remember really loving anyone but my grandfather." Vivi Blink rapidly many fast times. "I've… I've never told anyone that before. you won't tell?" Secrets! Quena Much exited by secrets.

"Quena tell no one!" Quena nod head with vigorously.

"AAAWGH, MAN, I COULD EAT MY FRICKEN' CHOCOBO, I'M SO BLOODY HUNGERY!" by holler from tent, Zidane sound very hungry.

"CHOCOBO TASTE GOOD?" Quena say, while run back at tent, where chocobo parked. "WANT SOME! "

Zidane poke messed blonde head from tent flap.

"whaaat theeee….. NO QUENA DON'T EAT IT!" Zidane run from tent, at flying quick toward Quena. "FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE'S _BEEN! _" Quena chortle and flop on belly. Quena think of the friends s/he have, in turns. Quena thing long of one. Happy when hungry, unhappy when not hungry. Quena start to understand. Quena love someone.

(but Quena still pretty hungry.)


	2. Chocobo Do No Taste Good

Ha ha ha. So I made it to chapter two. A chapter in which not much goes on, and doesn't have anything in it to advance the plot, but it seemed fun, and necessary somehow, although it's probably just because I don't really want this to be a romance fic. Because that'd be weird. I mean, it's Quena, for crying out loud.

Travel friend three shuffle out of tent. She tall, and in pretty red coat Freya yawn briskly, and strech up on rodent toes. Freya eyes dragon-esque, and glimmery like wet skin of TASTY FROG. Cool, bright-y. Freya turn to Zidane.

"so what is our plan, Zidane? Although it is most tempting to go after Kuja immediately, and time _is_ of the essence, I for one do not believe we are strong enough to defeat him just yet." Zidane's energy no so good from run. He drag his feet until back at tent and crack jaw in giant yawn.

"for this morning, we sleep. This afternoon well train mindlessly. I'm going back to sleep now." Zidane fall into sleeping bag and soon start loud snore. Freya mutter scary words under breathing, but picks sleep now too. Even Vivi, who no feel like sleep now no in mood for much talk to Quena.

"but you know quena, I am getting kinda hungry now. How about you find something we both can eat, and I'll start a fire to cook it on? If… that is, if you want."

"QUENA CATCH BEST EVER FISH! VIVI SEE!" and s/he dart-waddle to beach where sun now start rise. Vivi sigh, and start gather for good wood, dry for fires.

Now, Quena think s/he be good, swiftly swimmer. Really, S/he more a good, swiftly _THRASHER ._ When Quena see good fish, s/he can no get close to catch, fish flee thrashing with fastness. Soon Quena Come to water top, to air.

"No good. No fish I catch here. Fish much harder catch than frog."

Then Quena spot Chocobo. Chocobo spot Quena.

"kweh?"

Quena thrash fast out of water.

"kwehh!"

Quena waddle across shore, to Chocobo.

"Kwehh!"

Then Quena pounce. Chocobo run for all it worth. Chocobo Feathers go fly all places as it run in Frenzy panic.

"KWWEEEEEHHHH! KWWEEEEEHHHH!" Quena clich to choco bo left wing, life and limb. Finally, Quena manage squish under his/her vastness. "mmm. Zidaine say he eat Chocobo. Chicibo must be good taste." S/he look sly around, for the people maybe there. There no. "Quena give test for Chocobo taste…" Quena Give Chocobo good, broad up neck LICK.

"KWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zidaine wake to angry Quena face stand up over his.

"Chocobo" Quena Snarl, "do NO TASTE GOOD."


End file.
